My grandparents' driveway would not be complete on evenings and weekends if "the truck" wasn't parked there. In fact, it's not complete, and I think it will be a very long time before anyone can look at that driveway and not say something is missing there.
When I spoke with my aunt yesterday (who works where my dad did), she told me she had an emotional morning because she saw dad's truck. I hadn't thought much about that truck until this conversation. I know that the day he died, I wanted it out of the driveway and so some very good people came to remove it. The truck was the biggest symbol of my dad...it was what alerted us to "Poppy" being at home when we pulled in or that it was Poppy coming home if we were already there. I asked my aunt what they were doing with it. It was the company truck so I assumed it was being passed down to whomever had taken his place. My aunt informed me that they were going to sell it; trade it in.
"Why?" I asked.
"Because no one will drive it. There is only one person that belongs in that truck."
I can't explain why or how proud that makes me. People thought so much of my dad that they would never try to fill his shoes. His buddy, David, who has taken over his position, said that in no way would he drive that truck...no way. The truck: what a strange symbol....but a symbol nonetheless of a great man. Please see my pictures below of the large turnout that came to pay their respects to my dad. It was amazing...over a thousand people.
Soooooooooooo....as you might well know or may have guessed by now, I'm going crazy staying at home. I love being with my kids, I hate not having a paycheck. My mom has told me over and over again to pray to my dad for work. I have told her over and over again that my praying knees are a little tired and apprehensive these days after what happened to dad. I finally broke down and said a word or two to him the other night. Surprisingly, I'm getting small hits here and there of possible jobs. Whether it be tutoring, at home work, etc. Whatever it is, I hope it happens soon. I am miserable.
Not a ton to blog about today. The kids have been good and are both sleeping now...hope that lasts! I think the in-laws are coming for dinner tonight, but I'm not sure. I'm super annoyed with my husband for various work/family related things, but I guess I can't elaborate on that---bummer! I love that man dearly, but my how opposite we are!
I will say, before I go, that I'm really struggling with whether to open this blog up to the family or not. I haven't really told anyone that I have a blog. If they searched for it, they would find it, but I doubt they search without knowing I have one. On one hand, it would be a great way to keep in touch with family out of state (and in state for that matter), but on the other hand I'm not sure if I am ready to open myself up to the world. This blog has been so great for me though. It's like an old friend whom I can't wait to see down and talk to during the day. I wish I was smart enough to know how to open it up and have ads run on it...you know...to make money. I'm not sure how many people would read it though-----therefore limiting the money making ad idea. Whatever it is, I feel like things are working in a direction of ironing themselves out. The minute-to-minute me is miserable......very much wanting things soon, if not now. Then I sit back and sigh and realize that maybe this is what life is trying to teach me...to sit back....enjoy the ride. Maybe I'm at this crossroads for a reason. Who knows? I guess I'll find out sooner or later, right? Well, laundry is calling me....as it does every day. Bye bye for now!
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