Exhausted!

Well, today was the big yard sale day---I am no longer a virgin!  I had a great experience...made quite a few $$$ and am ready to do it again in the spring!  It was very cleansing.  I am so tired though!  I just had to blog before I went to bed though....something sad happened today :(.

I let Gracen go over to my cousin's house after the yardsale to play with her little boy and girl.  I arrived a short time later and was hanging out there when my cousin's dad (my uncle) showed up.  My aunt exclaimed to her grandkids, "Say hi to Poppy."  Well, Poppy is also what Gracen calls/called my dad.  Her eyes shot up in excitement...as if she was going to see her Poppy standing there.  Quite honestly, I am crying just typing about it.  That was one of the most heart wrenching things I have had to deal with since my father's death, and I'm not sure I'll get over it any time soon.  Something so simple, and yet so complex.  She was over it way before I was or ever will be, but something about seeing the disappointment in your child.  It's so awful.  The most awful part is that I cannot fix it.  This is a permanent problem with no solution.  Poppy will never come back, and it kills me all the time....but especially on days like this.  Needless to say, I cried the whole way home and then again when I told my husband about it. I want to tell my mom, but she doesn't need to hear it---too sad.  You know, Gracen has become more and more attached to her Pop Bunny, and she talks about dad being in the sky and being an angel with Jesus in heaven very often.  They say that children are so innocent that they see, hear, and feel things that adults do not.  I hope dad is visiting her.  I hope she feels him around her all the time.

And so it's with much sadness that I say good night to you, friends.  I dread going to sleep because I think that picture will play in my head a thousand times over before I drift off.  Nite ya'll.