I have a confession...

I want to be fabulous.

Yes, you heard me. FABULOUS.  Call it stupid, call it a mid-life crisis, call it whatever you want. 

Over the course of the past few weeks, it has been called to my attention that I have numerous friends who "have it all together".  I get my hair highlighted once every 3 months, and I think I'm doing something.  I think the last time I ever felt fabulous was on my wedding day.  In April, that will be 4 years.

Here is just a "brief" list of what's running through my head right now.  Well, what's running through my head while I'm watching the train wreck known as Jersey Shore.

I love my mini-van, but I think it may be time to switch that up----well, after it's paid off.  What I really want?  Hmmmmm, a Tahoe or Land Rover perhaps.  I doubt I get either one, but I can dream, right?    And maybe some new clothes----that would be nice too.  I've spent the past 3 years (since Gracen was born), worrying about dressing her in the latest and now, the same goes with Parker.  Me, I'm making shirts work that I had even before she was born.  I would love a classier look.  It's way too easy for me to walk out the door in my Rocket Dogs and Gap sweatshirt.  I'm not throwing them away altogether, but it's time for me to make a slight change.  I just need to be coached!  any takers?  hahaha  I used to think that I knew what was in style, but hmmmm, not so much anymore.  I've let myself go.  I did what I said I'd never do!   

I long for a few nights out a month too---either with the hubby or with my friends or both at the same time or whatever!  Stephen and I went out a few weeks ago with our friends.  I was able to put on some "decent" clothes, fix my hair and do my make-up.  In addition, I had some drinks too!  Oh it did WONDERS for the soul.  Catching up with long, lost friends is on my list too.

I'm pale and white, and I hate it!  Oh I long for spring and summer and warmer days.  I used to go tanning, but I have sworn myself off of that entirely.  Not only is it costly, but of course, incredibly bad for you.  There's just something about a nice tan, flip flops, and the beach that makes me the happiest girl in the world. 

I'll never get back to the size I was before Gracen, but a little weight loss wouldn't hurt.  I would like to have another baby eventually, but until then a smaller size will do.  Unfortunately, with 2 kids, I skip meals and eat things that are bad for me because they are convenient. 

*sigh*

Lastly, I want to be (and I hope I already am) a fabulous Mom to my kids as well.  I don't want this blog to be mistaken for a "Shannon's going to go wild and leave her husband and kids" blog.  Don't laugh.  Is there a woman out there who can say she's never wanted to be fabulous?