My love:
The money. The money is incredible. And often times my husband is generous with it (generous to me). Now that I'm not working, the money is also very needed. We can "survive" on one salary, but extras are a source of stress and arguments = not a fun way to live.
My hate:
No one person should have to work 7 days a week. Stephen works no less than 12 hours each day on the weekend. Most of the time it's more like 14 hours or more. The work is hard on him. It racks his body, and it makes me feel awful. He likes the money, and he used to like the work, but it's no longer fun for him. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's something that he resents after the first few weekends. I know he's happy that he still has the opportunity, but I'm sure that if there were "another way," he would do it.
In addition to the stress that the boat puts on my husband is the stress that it puts on me. Last year at least I was working with adults 5 out of 7 days during the week, but now I'm "stuck" all 7 days during the week without any help or companionship from him. Thank goodness I have no problem taking the kids out by myself and I get help from the grandmas, but it's not like having my husband here.
Our weekends of actually getting out and being with other adults are permanently put on hold as well since Stephen has to get up and leave around 4 each morning.
Last but equally as important, I feel sorry for my poor kids. They love their Dad to death, and it's going to rock their world that's he won't be here on the weekend.
...And so begins my life as a charter mate widow. IN addition begins my quest to take on more tutoring kids and to find another way of making money short of selling crack or my body (laugh, people, laugh). Guess I need to be a little more faithful to my blog....think of a cool invention..... or something!
And of course as if this drastic change isn't bad enough, I seem to be missing my Dad WAY more than usual lately. I think it's the Spring weather...and something about Easter approaching. Gracen informed me today that her "other Poppy would help her hunt for eggs this year. Last year was her first year doing it, and Dad helped her. When I asked her who helped her last year she said that Poppy did. I asked where Poppy was now, and she said, "In Heaven Mom, feeding the cows." I chuckled and said, "Oh he is feeding the cows in Heaven?" She said, "No, he's an angel, Mom."
Seriously, I couldn't make this stuff up even if I tried. She has an incredible memory of time with her Poppy, and I am so thankful for that. I hope she will always be able to remember their time together. I have done nothing but sob while looking at these pics of Dad and Gracen together last Easter. It just can't be possible....
And to throw ANOTHER loop into this crazy...all over the place, blog. The Tiki Bar opened today--WOO HOO! All I know is that 4 years ago, Tiki Saturday fell on April 21st.....the day of my wedding. :)
2 comments:
Shannon, if its any consolation, I lose my husband to blueberry season every year. It starts about memorial day and goes strong til early August. For us this means he wakes at 5 am to be on the road for his 90 min commute and IF he gets home its not til11pm. I feel your frustration ;for yourself, for the kids and for your general sanity! Misery loves company....you're not alone :) (I k.ow your not miserable it just sounds funny)
Yeah, and then there are days like today where at 8:30 he was already in from his first trip, which is AWESOME. Days like these make it worth the while. Too bad you don't live closer....we could have playdates (and shopping too). Explain this "blueberry" season to me please!
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