A Walmart gift card....

"I don't want anything.  There's nothing I need.  Save your money....

Well, if you want to get me something, get me a Walmart gift card.  I can always find something out of there."

Every year for Father's Day, or every year for any holiday, these were my Dad's exact words.  He was a very simple guy.  He never needed or wanted anything expensive or fancy.  His garage was his haven...with anything a man could possibly ever want:  a large TV, grill, fry-daddy, chairs, picnic table, all the tools in the world, etc.  And just like he said...anything he could ever want/need would be found at Walmart.  I would always get so aggravated at this response from him.  Walmart, REALLY?  I would always beg him to think of something that I could buy other than that gift card---a real, tangible, WRAPPABLE gift, but his answer was always the same.

I would give anything in the world to buy that gift card again this year.

Last year we celebrated Father's Day and my birthday together...on a Friday, June 18th.  I would be leaving for a week at the beach with my in-laws that Sunday so I wouldn't be around.  I didn't necessarily want to be absent for Father's Day, but I knew Dad wouldn't think anything of it, and I didn't have a choice.  Of course, I regret that this year.  Take it from me, don't leave things for regret.

Yesterday was my 32nd birthday.  The day was way more emotional for me than I had expected.  As we sat around the table last night at the restaurant, there was definitely a void.  Dad was surely always there for my birthday dinners, always called me separately from his cell phone, and even sent me an e-mail last year that read: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU AND YOU DON'T LOOK A DAY OVER 31 HA.

He was so proud of himself for beginning to master e-mail and the internet!

Every single one of us walks this earth as though we are immortal.  And that's a good thing because if we remembered that we weren't, every second would be miserable and anxiety ridden! Sometimes though, I stop and think about how I could be gone in an instant, or God forbid my children, or husband.  I think the cause of my grief and anger about my dad is that he was taken from us quickly...and what seems like a "young" age.  But in reality, I am no different than the friend of a 21-year-old just killed, the mother of a 6 year old with terminal cancer, or the young widow without a husband.  We all think that you get "old" and then die, but in reality there is no specific age or no way of knowing when your time will come. 

Back in May, a crazy group of "Christians"...and I use that term loosely, predicted that the end of the world would be May 21, 2011.  Well, it's June 19, 2011, and I'm still sitting here.  They may have been wrong about a cumulative judgment day for the whole world, but if you think about it, I'm sure May 21st was judgment day for many people that day.  Any given day could be judgment day for us. 

So on this Father's Day, I'm going to celebrate my husband, my father-in-law, and MY DAD.  Dad, you were certainly one of the absolute best Dads and Granddads in the world.  I wish I would've told you that more often, but I'm sure you know.  Happy Father's Day, Dad.   I hope Heaven has a Walmart.

Dad and Gracen

Taken June 18, 2010.